Though I’m not usually one to be at a loss for words, I often experience a uniquely gratifying feeling that I find difficult to describe while interacting with many of my patients. There is a special bond, born of familiarity, comfort and ease that transcends the typical doctor/patient relationship. Perhaps it’s best portrayed as a unique type of friendship that invites a warm exchange of feelings, stories and ideas. My spirits soar when I think about how practicing dentistry has expanded my world by enabling me to be involved (dare I say be“ intimate”) with so many wonderful people. One person at a time over a course of many appointments spanning many years, being a dentist has led to some amazing relationships.

So, one of the highlights of my week was seeing Jennifer Bahme in my office. Jen has been a patient of mine for more than ten years and what made her visit especially heart-warming is that she now lives in Spain. This wasn’t the first occasion that I’ve seen her since she decided to pull up stakes and move to Madrid. This time she came to New York on a 4-day whirlwind trip to attend to some matters that needed tending to including a dental appointment with me. Now how good do you think that makes me feel? I’ve heard of the guy who would “walk a mile for a Camel” (I know I’m dating myself citing old cigarette ads not seen on TV for at least 20 years), but Jen flew 6,000 miles to see moi. (I choose to downplay the other things she had to do.) We had such a warm reunion prior, during and after her dental visit with the hygienist. “Unfortunately”, Jen had broken a tooth and I had the “pleasure” of seeing her again later in the day to remedy the problem and to commiserate further.

Jen is a fantastic person simultaneously interesting and interested in our banter. I remember some time ago how she moved to Costa Rica for a year before she returned to the big apple. This time her relocation seems more permanent for reasons I won’t share, except to say that I look forward to visiting her and her Spanish boyfriend when my wife and I go to Madrid. For the record, Jennifer has not been reading my blog but promised to do so if I wrote about her.

So Jen, this one’s for you.

So it was the first Monday of the New Year and one of my most beloved patients, having just learned that my office was closed for the holiday, called me on my cell phone to report a dental mishap. As odd as this may sound, I was thrilled to hear from her and to be speaking  with her. (And no, I’m not some sadistic dentist of the Little Shop of Horrors variety reveling at someone’s dental emergency) as  she was very quick to point out that she was not in distress and could wait until tomorrow to see me. Having known each other since 1984, she knows I would have opened the office to see her if need be.

Bernice called me to make sure I would be in the office this week to see her before she jetted off to Israel to attend a Hadassah conference. I was excited to speak to Bernice because she is a most dynamic, compassionate inspirational individual. To be speaking with her at the onset of the New Year was, well it was… inspirational.

You see, Bernice is 98+ years young with the optimism and “can do” spirit that inspires me to embrace 2012 with vigor and optimism. But there is more to this than being “pumped up” for the adventure of a new year; it’s being reminded that to be fully engaged in life is not to look at the calendar and push the restart button with the arrival of January 1^st.  Rather, it’s to take each day as the gift it is (whether it’s Monday January 2^nd or Thursday October 12^th) and to make it count.

As the saying goes, Carpe Diem – Seize the Day…everyday! And before you know it, 35,770 days will pass by (that’s 98 years) and you will still look forward to tomorrow. That’s what I call living a fulfilling life and that’s the lesson Bernice has taught me by example.

While I have already wished you all a Happy New Year, maybe what I really wish for you is fulfillment of a life fully lived.

Michael

As I began my day this morning, my thoughts carried me out to Long Island where my dear, dear patients Jen and Neil were celebrating the bris of their 8-day-old son, Chase Logan. Since the bris was during office hours I wasn’t able to attend, but in my mind’s eye, this is what I saw:

Jen and Neil cradling their newborn, 3-year old big brother Jaren with his future wife, 3-year old Emily (they are inseparable). Proud Aunt Dara looking on (with eyes half closed). And a cadre of friends and family: Pamela, Amy, Marah, and Jodi; to name a few.

Jen and Neil are special people whom everyone adores (everyone especially loves Jen). They have a huge network of like-minded friends that share a beautiful bond of connectivity. I feel blessed to be a part of Jen and Neil’s network, especially because I’m their dentist. (By the way, theirs is the only “network” in which I participate.)

The fact that Jen and Neil make me feel like a part of the family is one of the most cherished aspects of being a dentist – namely, to have the opportunity to build close ties with such wonderful people. (Not to mention the joy of witnessing life cycles…courtship, engagement, marriage, AND NOW, PARENTHOOD!!!)

So, Jen and Neil: I am sorry that I missed the bris (someone has to wage the war against dental disease!) but, I hope to be a guest at the Bar Mitzvah, Jaren and Emily’s wedding, and many other joyous events in the future.

And if need be, it will be my pleasure to whiten their smiles for the big day.

Every now and then, I’ll be busy with one thing or another and suddenly think about someone whom I haven’t seen in a while. It might be a friend; often, it’s a patient.

A month or so ago, I realized that I hadn’t seen Alan in the office in quite some time. Alan and I go back a long time and over the 25 years that I’ve cared for him, he has been regular as clockwork keeping his 6-month check-up visits. When I looked up his records, I saw that I hadn’t seen him in over a year. I grew concerned and gave him a call to find that he, like so many others, had fallen prey to this horrible economy. The company he had been with for some 2 decades went out of business and Alan has been unemployed for a year.

He shared with me how difficult it’s been both professionally and personally. Being out of work for such a prolonged period of time takes its toll financially as well as emotionally. He expressed disappointment that so many people that he had helped over the years didn’t reach out to him in a meaningful manner, as he most certainly would have were the circumstances reversed. Alan is the type of guy who goes out of his way to help someone in need. Ask for an inch, he’ll give you a foot. So when hardship fell, he didn’t just feel deflated from having lost his job, he was hurt by the lack of support from those he imagined he could count on.

We spoke for quite a while and I shared with Alan two important lessons I had learned about human nature and myself: 1. People can’t read your mind: if you want or need something don’t assume that people, even those close to you, know what it is unless you come right out and express it. 2. Don’t expect people to respond to something the same way you would, and don’t be disappointed when they don’t. We are all uniquely different.

At the conclusion of a very heartfelt conversation, I invited Alan to come in for an appointment – as a favor to me and in the spirit of friendship.

- Michael